3+ day, 3+ hour ago   (97+ words) An explosive report revealed that the United Arab Emirates warned Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu about an imminent attack by Hamas 10 days before Oct. 7, with Netanyahu reportedly dismissing the threat that would end up destabilizing the region. What do you…...

4+ day, 10+ hour ago   (91+ words) The post Groom’s Wedding Vows Just Pledge Of Allegiance appeared first on The Onion. Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked Grandma Just Called To Talk About 1956 Police Lose Planted Evidence Old Thing Really Heavy Silent Protest Sparks Silent Debate Dept. Of…...

5+ day, 10+ hour ago   (168+ words) Tuesday, September 8, 2026 Hope you like cicadas The FBI warns artificial intelligence is being exploited around the globe by criminals who use the technology for deception. The Onion shares tips for detecting AI scams. Check if the message is signed “Captain…...

5+ day, 10+ hour ago   (118+ words) Family and friends of Shawn Graham, 56, were shocked and saddened to learn that it costs $300 to submit an obituary to a newspaper. The post Shawn Graham appeared first on The Onion. Grandma Just Called To Talk About 1956 Police Lose Planted…...

1+ week, 3+ day ago   (277+ words) HERSHEY, PA—Calling into question the candy brand’s apparent belief that consuming its chocolate-covered caramels constitutes a lively group activity, viewers told reporters Thursday that a new Rolo commercial greatly overestimates the social element of eating Rolos. “Rolo roll call!...

1+ week, 4+ day ago   (107+ words) The Onion Study: Majority Of Nation’s Sweat Now Produced From Eating Spicy Wings Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine Chess Onlooker Sees A Move You Can Do Amazing Psychic Bends Truth With Mind Independent Bookstore Acquires Cat Play Within A…...

2+ week, 1+ day ago   (124+ words) The post Red Sox Fan Throws Back Son Who Caught Yankees Home Run appeared first on The Onion. Independent Bookstore Acquires Cat Play Within A Play Also Boring Father Points Out Rhode Island License Plate Rest Of Waiting Room Getting…...

2+ week, 2+ day ago   (319+ words) INDIANAPOLIS—Contending that the proposed restrictions were “common sense” and necessary to preserve the integrity of the sport, Indiana Fever shooting guard Sophie Cunningham claimed Friday that any woman who averages more than eight points per game should not be…...

2+ week, 5+ day ago   (271+ words) PHILADELPHIA—Suggesting that the nation was increasingly prioritizing speed and efficiency in speaking, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that more Americans are abandoning lengthy conversations in favor of one really big word. “Our…...