5+ day, 22+ hour ago   (139+ words) Finally landed the career of your dreams? Well, this dated, leaky 2-bedroom home is still all you’ll ever be able to afford because that’s just how things are now. Settle in and get used to it. Reference #830436 The post What…...

1+ week, 4+ day ago   (158+ words) Hope you like cicadas SpaceX recently unveiled plans to construct a $100 billion spaceport in Louisiana, which CEO Elon Musk has said will be “the biggest launch site on Earth.” The Onion shares everything you need to know about the facility....

1+ week, 4+ day ago   (109+ words) The Onion Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine Chess Onlooker Sees A Move You Can Do Amazing Psychic Bends Truth With Mind Independent Bookstore Acquires Cat Play Within A Play Also Boring Father Points Out Rhode Island License Plate Rest…...

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (86+ words) Smoggy with a soupcon of ragweed ICE announced plans to spend up to $20 million on gloves that deliver electric shocks to people who do not cooperate. What do you think? “Hopefully you can still opt in for the traditional beating....

4+ week, 1+ day ago   (272+ words) WASHINGTON—Dismissing news of the 70-story skyscraper as a “hit job” manufactured by the mainstream media, President Donald Trump downplayed Thursday the significance of a Trump Tower found on Little St. James, the island once owned by the late child…...